Scared to be Scarred

 

PART-1

The sky rumbled and the raindrops splattered against the bay window. The night was chill and a faint crickets’ song could be heard in the distance. The darkroom was occasionally lit by fine streaks of lightning. In the silent room, two pairs of chocolate brown eyes looked at each other pointedly. Both had the same urgency.

I am sorry! I am very sorry! It was all my fault! 

The same unspoken words echoed loud in the room. The guilt was making it unbearable. Both had questions to ask and answers to give and they knew it- It was now or never.

Amongst the thousand thoughts running inside their heads, one thought stood out - Cut it out! Long story short...you were the right one at the wrong time. However it was, it all was imperfectly perfect.

PART-2

‘Mabel! You need to practice harder. You are losing your focus. You can’t get into the next tournament with your current performance,’ the master’s voice roared from behind as she tried to recover from the shock of a flying sidekick from her opponent.

 A nearly teary-eyed and tired Mabel nodded and proceeded to heed to her master’s rant at her. However, emotions got the better of her, and she darted out of the dojo, too fast for anyone to catch her face.

She rushed out of the hall and out into the cold December evening with her duffle bag hung on her right shoulder. Myriads of thoughts ran through her head in a single minute as she tried to remember the bitter, yet true words of her master. 

Yes, I am getting weaker. I feel useless. I am a bad omen.  

As she tried to clear her head, she bumped into something hard and immediately stumbled back a few steps. She rubbed her head and squinted her eyes to look at the obstruction standing on her way. A girl, dressed in a red cloak, was looking at her with wide eyes and mumbling something incoherent. Suddenly, as though remembering her manners, she offered her hand to help and started apologizing profusely for not seeing where she was going. Mabel looked at her, distraught. Her face darkened and she was about to say something when she shook her head and clicked her tongue before she walked past her.

'Hey wait, what's your name? I guess I saw you in my class the day before yesterday. I am new here. Can we walk together?' The girl ran after Mabel, trying to catch her up, ‘I am Sylvia. What’s your name?’ 

She tried to extend her hand to greet her but was only met with a deep sigh. She shrugged but was not disheartened. She tried again, ‘I heard they call you Mabel- the tomboy. Ah! I mean I think they are a bit rude. Look at you! You got pretty brown eyes, a well-sculpted nose, and pink lips. Ain’t you beautiful? Look at those curls!’ 

Mabel slowed down her pace and turned around. With a serious face and a serious tone, she finally answered, ‘Thank you for your compliments but I am fine with what they call me. You don’t need to talk sweet and stand for me. Now, if you have nothing important to say, then please leave.’

With this Mabel wrapped her jacket tighter around her and quickly walked down the road.

PART-3

Mabel awoke to a new dawn, one seeming to be no different than the rest. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was just half an hour before her classes began. Quickly getting out of her sheets and stretching, she thought of her master’s words again. The reminiscing made her frown and become sullen all over again. She rubbed her forehead and let out a heavy sigh. She looked at the clock once more before darting to the washroom. Ten minutes later, she was running down the driveway before she finally stopped at the subway. She quickly purchased a ticket and got on the first train that arrived at the platform.

Sinking in her seat, she thought of doing a quick introspection.

Was she becoming incapable? Was she no more able to fend herself the way she could? Thinking hard, she concluded that she was not only incapable physically, but she was downplaying herself mentally as well. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the train finally arrived at its destination and she squirmed her way out through the crowded station before she ran down the road. 

Arriving at the entrance hall, she placed her belongings into her locker, and with a queer silence, walked towards her class. 

Mabel reached school soon enough to not be conspicuously drawn out by her teacher, Mr. Wilks, for being late. She took the desk right across the window, which had fine early sunshine streaking through it, illuminating the classroom. 

Ten minutes later, as she was twirling her pen with her fingers, a figure rushed into the class, spouting instantaneously what might be assumed as a series of apologies.

‘Miss Winston! Have you considered the time of your arrival?’ Mr. Wilks asked the girl. Mabel looked up from her desk and realized it was the same girl she’d bumped into the day before. 

‘Sorry, sir. I am extremely sorry. I won’t repeat this next time,’ she apologized.

‘You better not. Punctuality is a must in my class,’ Mr. Wilks warned.

Sylvia nodded with her head down and proceeded to take her seat. She realized that all the seats had been taken except for Mabel’s only one, near the window. Instantly her face lit up and not minding her warning glare, she walked there to take her place.

Abruptly, hushed voices and murmurs filled up the corners of the room. Almost as if on cue, the students seated nearby began gossiping.

Sylvia is sitting right next to Mabel! How can she do that? Doesn’t she know about Mabel? Everybody avoids speaking to that eccentric girl. How can she tolerate her?

Mabel slightly paled before she regained her composure. Sylvia, however, noticed the slight change and smiled to herself. She let the bits and pieces fall unseen and unnoticed, as she continued to be her always bubbly and smiling self.

In reality, Mabel was shocked, for she wouldn't have anticipated Sylvia to continue sitting beside her, not after the gossips were obvious enough to make her run to the hills. However, her face remained cold and she continued to stare at the whiteboard. 

Half an hour later, Sylvia was drooling and scribbling on her notebook when she noticed Mabel looking absentmindedly across the games field. Deciding to disrupt the peaceful moment, she pinched Mabel on her elbow and kicked her ankle. Caught off guard, Mabel almost stumbled down her chair. She quickly held on to the edge of her table and pointedly glared at Sylvia. Wanting to vent her anger out, she picked up Sylvia’s copy and drew merciless crosses on her scribbles. Sylvia looked at the victim and then at its prosecutor. Abruptly, she broke down into silent fits of laughter. Her body shook as she tried to keep a poker face. 

Finally, when her laughter died, she commented, ‘That was quite a vengeance!’

‘Okay! If you are so bored that all you wanna do is look out of the window, then let’s play a little game. It is called the five questions game,’ Sylvia offered.

Mabel looked at her in displeasure and pursed her lips to a thin line. She slightly shook her head and continued looking outside the window.

‘Okay, if you don’t wanna start first then I’ll ask the first query.’ Sylvia paused a second and continued, ‘What is your favorite color?’

Mabel didn’t turn around.

‘Fine, if you don’t want to answer that question, I’ll ask another one. What is your favorite movie?’

She waited for a minute but there was no answer. She let out a light sigh and bit her lips. 

‘Listen Mabel! It is fine if you don’t want to talk to me but please don’t ignore me like I don’t exist at all. Ah! Please answer this one, okay? These are easy and nothing personal.’ Her face lit up again, ‘Which is your favorite day of the week?’

A minute passed by and still, there was not a single word from her grumpy friend. Expecting her to not respond again, Sylvia huffed and turned to pack her bags. An hour flew by without either realizing it. As the period neared its end, Sylvia and Mabel went to wind up their stuff before heading out of the class. Suddenly, Mabel stopped at the threshold of the door and turned around. Sylvia stopped too and threw Mabel a questioning look.

Mabel’s face twisted for a second and she uttered a single word, before running out into the corridor.

‘Wednesday!’

Sylvia frowned, as she tried to make sense of her words when finally realization dawned on her that it was the answer to her third question. She couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips, as she thought, ‘No harm. You at least answered one and that is enough. I won’t give up. It will be fun breaking the rock!’

As recess began, Sylvia and Mabel headed to their respective places where they usually had their lunch. Before either of them realized it, the transient bubble of relief popped as breaktime neared its end and they were headed to their scheduled classes. Sylvia managed to leave early this once so that she would not get a rebuke from Mr. Wilks and ended up five minutes early in the classroom.

Scanning the room, she looked around for Mabel, to sit beside her again. However, her eyes couldn’t locate her.

I must be early, she thought.

But as the minutes ticked by and one period flew after the other, Mabel still didn’t attend any of the classes. Three periods had passed by then when she started to think of Mabel’s whereabouts. 

I guess she is not well. That is why she was so grumpy in the morning. Maybe she decided to head back home. I will catch her up tomorrow, Sylvia thought.

After school, Sylvia decided to take a stroll along the embankment of the river that lay at the foot of the hill upon which the school was perched.

PART-4

Walking along the embankment, Sylvia happened to nearly stumble upon a pile of pebbles. As she sat down to caress her toe, suddenly she noticed a silhouette in the distance, one seeming vaguely familiar. Curious as she was, she got up, dusted her jeans, and walked towards her. When she was just behind the person, she let out a soft gasp, for it was none other than Mabel, whose eyes were aimlessly staring into the distance. Drawing closer, Sylvia waved her palm in front of her and asked, ‘What are you doing here? Were you here for the past couple of hours?’

Seemingly baffled by Sylvia's sudden presence, Mabel muttered something inaudible under her breath and walked right past her.

A hurt Sylvia trudged along as she continued asking, ‘Where were you all this while? I thought you went home because you were not feeling well. I didn’t expect to meet you here. To be honest, I was worried about you.’

Mabel, however, didn’t appear to take notice and quickened her pace.

‘Hey! Don’t you belong to Adler’s family?’ a high-pitched voice shouted from a distance, ‘Yes, you do!’

Sylvia froze. All of a sudden, her body felt numb and her face lost its color. Her ears turned red and she gulped audibly. Feeling something amiss, Mabel turned around to look at her. She frowned as she wasn’t able to comprehend the abrupt change in her behavior. Mabel looked past her and saw a group of students from their class with jeering and mocking smiles and frowns plastered on their faces. 

They started chorusing a single question- ‘Aren’t the rumors true? We heard that you were born out of wedlock. Isn’t your dad a criminal, who ran away with the City Mayor’s daughter?’ A series of sneers and laughter followed thereafter.

Hurt, Sylvia proceeded to keep her mouth shut while Mabel looked back at her with a cold face. Mabel could make it out that Sylvia was nearing the edge of her patience and she finally yelled at the chiding students to keep quiet. However, only taking this to be a motivator to jeer further, they went on. 

‘No, I am not like what they say,’ Sylvia muttered softly and broke down.

Mabel was stunned for a moment. She had never expected a high-spirited girl like Sylvia to break down all of a sudden. Sylvia sat hunched upon the ground with her palms over her ears. Her eyes tightly closed and her lips pressed to a thin line. Her cheeks were flushed and tear-stained. A deep frown formed on her forehead and she pressed her hands tighter to her ears.

Mabel walked past Sylvia and stood in front of the group. With a serious face, she warned in a monotone, ‘ If you don’t want yourself getting suspended for displacing the exam answer sheets, better apologize and leave.’

They were stunned. Acquainted with Mabel’s callous attitude, it was the first time Mabel actually spoke something, let alone stand up for someone. They had never expected the rude and silent girl would speak up for this meek and talkative one. Their faces twisted with anger and they glared at her before nonchalantly walking off in the opposite direction.

Mabel sighed heavily and turned around to see Sylvia grinning from ear to ear. All traces of melancholy were long lost from her face. She looked as though she had discovered a new hope. Mabel gave her a quizzical look and nodded at her before jogging up the river. 

Mabel had only walked down the block when she heard someone shouting at her, ‘Mabel! Mabel! Wait for me. Let me accompany you. I promise to keep quiet. Just let me accompany you.’

Mabel stopped in her tracks and shook her head. She turned around and rolled her eyes.

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

‘No.’

‘Yes. See, I know you hate me pestering you around but still you tolerated me. I am sure you will do a little more.’

‘No, means a no.’

‘Ah! I guess you don’t hate me that much. Look at you. I am even able to bring out a few expressions on that cold, beautiful face. Ain’t I the person who should stick around you to make you more humane?’

‘Shut up! Leave!’

‘Fine! Fine! I am sorry. I will keep my mouth shut. Don’t cut me out, please. I have no one else to turn to. Please let me stay. Please, give me a chance one last time.’

‘You!...’ 

Mabel stopped midway, unable to continue any further. She turned around and continued walking. Taking this to be a “yes”, Sylvia sauntered behind her for the rest of the walk to Central Square.

PART-5

The sun had already set and the streets were lit up with incandescent lights. The shops were adorned with confetti and fairy lights. The chandeliers shone in the middle of the big hall and the sweet aroma of turkey filled the air. The pavements were jam-packed with pedestrians and incoherent gesticulations were heard from the corner of the dimly lit alleys.

‘Hey, Mabel! It is only a few days until Christmas, isn’t it? Listen! Let us stop by and have a pastry.’

However, Mabel didn’t respond and walked straight forward.

‘Hey! Listen. I didn’t have anything in the morning and I spent lunch looking for you. Please, let us stop by the pastry shop. I promise to make it quick. Please, don’t be rude and ignore me all the time. No one is around. I know you are hungry too.’

Mabel stopped in her tracks and slowly answered, ‘We both had our lunch, don’t lie.’

‘Oh! Sorry, I forgot. Okay, let us have a treat for saving the damsel in distress. It is from my side.’

As if on cue, Mabel’s stomach let out a loud rumble. Mabel’s eyes widened and the tip of her ears turned pink.

‘See, even your stomach agrees with me. Come on.’

‘Hmm? Do you have the money?’

At this question, Sylvia stopped for a second and pressed her lips to a thin line. She looked up at Mabel guiltily and shook her head. Abruptly she pulled Mabel down the street and said, ‘You know about my conditions. I’ll take this as your treat. Come on, treat me this once.’

They were already standing in front of Yummy Delicacy, by the time Sylvia had finished pleading with her. Entering the shop, Sylvia eyed all the pedestrians one by one, finally deciding her choice, she asked the shopkeeper about the price.

‘It is $10.’

‘It is $10? Really?’

‘Yes ma’am, we keep the best pastries in the town. It is $10.’

‘Ah! Mabel, I don’t like chocolate too much. So, I was thinking if I could have a steam bun?’

Mabel eyed Sylvia for a moment before turning back to the shopkeeper and asked, ‘Can we have two pastries, please?’

‘Ah! No, no. Let me have the bun, Mabel.’

‘Yes, two pastries would suffice,’ Mabel held out two ‘$10’ notes without paying any heed to Sylvia.

Sylvia sighed and softly answered, ‘Thank you and sorry.’

Taking their pastries, they walked out of the shop. Mabel suddenly stopped and turned to look directly at Sylvia. Her eyes were cold but hesitant. Her expression was filled with annoyance and regret.

‘Sylvia, what happened today was just a sudden outburst. Please forget it. I would ask you to walk your way around and not to follow me anymore. Just stay away from me.’

Sylvia nearly scoffed at the distraught-seeming Mabel. ‘I’m not sure why you’d like me to stay away from you and why I keep coming back, but I know this. I always root for you, I always try to cheer you up and keep you in good sport. Yet you drive me off as I meant nothing. Fine.’ With a tight smile, Sylvia huffed, her cheeks turning red and her eyes gradually moistening. 

With determined and nimble steps, she walked outside. Mabel looked on, her vision blurred with the tears she was holding back.

With this, four days passed uneventfully. Neither Mabel nor Sylvia felt encouraged to make conversation with each other and avoided contact with each other at all costs. 

PART-6

A WEEK LATER…

‘There is an open fight at the Club Hall today. I heard Mabel from our class is taking part. Maybe she wants to exercise her good-for-nothing skills.’

‘I heard the teacher complaining about her performance the other day, in the martial arts class we attend in the evening.’

‘I heard that too. Maybe we can bet on Pierre. She is dangerous, I heard. She is from the other section.’

‘Pierre then, it shall be.’

Monday morning gossip infiltrated the air until it reached Sylvia’s ears, who was sitting alone on the last bench of the classroom. Sylvia straightened her body and slightly leaned towards them to eavesdrop. After five minutes, she packed up her bag and got ready to leave the class. As she walked out of the class and into the entrance hall, she saw Mabel leaning against the lockers on her back. Her eyes were closed and there was a deep frown on her forehead. Her fingers were curled in a tight fist and her knuckles, white.

Sylvia paused for a moment, hesitantly staring at Mabel.  After a quick decision, she took short, quick steps towards her and stood in front of her. 

Mabel felt the presence of a body next to her and slowly opened her eyes. They were slightly bloodshot and teary. Her lips pressed to a grim line when she saw Sylvia standing beside her. She clenched her teeth and asked, ‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be sitting in the Club Hall and betting against me?’

Sylvia sighed and reluctantly answered, ‘I know, you don’t like me. I just came here to wish you good luck. I believe in you even if you don’t believe me. Bye.’

Saying so Sylvia jogged out of the door, without waiting for a reply.

AT THE CLUB HALL…

A huge crowd had gathered in the hall to cheer  for their respective contestants. The atmosphere was heated and tense. Everyone bet on the best players and high stakes were raised. Disagreements started and hence, rival groups were formed. Amidst the chaos, a small voice squeaked, ‘$50 for Mabel Collen?’

The shouts died down in an instant and there was a deadly silence. All eyes fell on the young girl, who had managed to squeeze her way inside into the counter.

The man asked, ‘For Mabel Collen? That loser?‘

As soon as the words were out, the crowd burst out laughing and someone cried, ‘You are fighting in vain, girl. Anyways, the bet is too low. It seems you know her price.’

2 HOURS LATER…

Ear splitting cries echoed in the hall as one after the other contestant was toppled onto the floor by their opponent. Finally, it was time for the most anticipated match. Sylvia’s heart beat faster, as cold sweat trickled down her forehead. She heard Mabel’s name being announced on the podium at the counter and her opponent was, the infamous Pierre Miller.

Mabel walked up the ring and faced her opponent. Both of them stood at opposite corners of the ring as they tightened their wrist belts. Minutes ticked by and then a small siren rang. The two fighters gave each other a predatory glance and jumped into the centre. The crowd fell silent and a grim atmosphere surrounded the hall. Suddenly, the first punch flew and the other dodged. The hooting started all over again. Pushing through the mob, Sylvia made her way to the front and stared at Mabel with rapt attention. Her heart speaking only one thing-

‘I know you can. You are the best at it. You won’t let yourself and me down. Come on!’

As the scenes unfurled and the fight dragged along, suddenly a sharp cry erupted from the ring. The next moment, Mabel was lying face down and she was covered in red rivulets flowing down from the side of her temple. Sylvia’s eyes widened and she ran up the stairs and inside to pick Mabel up. Suddenly, she was held back by the referee, who retorted-

‘You can’t help her until she gives up. The players know the consequences of playing this game. Moreover, a loser must know their place and learn from their mistakes. Get out!’

 ‘I give up!’ a feeble voice cried in pain.

A deadly silence prevailed as the voice shouted hoarsely again, ‘I give up. I do.’

‘Haha! So that’s it. Pierre is the winner. You are permitted to remove your loser friend from here.’

‘She is not a loser!’ Sylvia shouted back as unstoppable tears fell down her flushed cheeks. She bent down to hold a sitting Mabel, who had propped up her head in her hands. 

‘You say so? Everybody knew about her poor performance in all tournaments because she is useless. A good for nothing opponent. Because she has no tactics to employ, because she…’

‘Because she’s got to play with a broken arm. Because she’s got herself half paralysed from a previous fight. Yes, I am a loser. You don’t need to keep reminding me, I got it. You don’t need to make me feel ashamed by betting on me when you know I can’t win whatsoever. You don’t know how it feels to be scarred.’

The onlookers looked at each other with a glint of astonishment in their eyes. A few threw looks of scepticism, disgust and dismay. New whispers filled the air and Pierre gave them a sarcastic, sugar-coated sympathetic look.

Sylvia tightly shut her eyes and clenched her teeth. After a minute, she opened her eyes with a novel flame set ablaze in them. With a serious look, she opened her jacket and draped it around Mabel’s cold shoulder. All of a sudden, as if on cue, the audience let out soft, dramatic gasps. Starting from the back of Sylvia’s neck, to her right elbow, the skin was patched and seemed devoid of colour. Majority of her skin was brown and seemed to be wrinkled. It was all obvious that one may deduce the skin to have suffered burns once.

Mabel looked at Sylvia, wide-eyed. She was shocked and astounded. She had never imagined Sylvia to hide something as hideous as that and for her to have shown it openly for her own sake. She felt numb; all the colour suddenly drained from her cheeks. She looked down at her bloody hands and felt her vision blur. At the corner of her eye, she caught Sylvia get down on her knees, slightly bent, and put an arm around her shoulder. Mabel leaned her body lightly against Sylvia and she felt her mind go blank with thousands of emotions rushing through at once.

All the noise faded in the background. The sky above rumbled and the once silent wisps of air lapped at the windows as if they suddenly picked up speed. The only sounds that echoed through the hallways were her laboured breathing and soft clicks of two pairs of shoes. Sylvia directed Mabel to the restroom when suddenly, the electricity went out. Sylvia clicked her tongue impatiently as she waited for the lights to come back on, and took out her phone.

PART-7

The sky rumbled and the raindrops splattered against the bay window. The night was chill and a faint crickets’ song could be heard in the distance. The darkroom was occasionally lit by fine streaks of lightning. In the silent room, two pairs of chocolate brown eyes looked at each other pointedly. Both had the same urgency.

I am sorry! I am very sorry! It was all my fault! 

The same unspoken words echoed loud in the room. The guilt was making it unbearable. Both had questions to ask and answers to give and they knew it- It was now or never.

Amongst the thousand thoughts running inside their heads, one thought stood out - Cut it out! Long story short...you were the right one at the wrong time. However it was, it all was imperfectly perfect.

Sylvia started, ‘I am sorry. I didn’t know about your condition. I didn’t know about all this. I feel foolish for setting you up like this. But I still believe you are the best, and…’

‘You always held my back. I am sorry about that night. I was afraid that if we became friends, I would be left hurting again..’

‘Shh...We have a lot of time to confess our faults. Now, let us check your wounds and clean them up.’

A comfortable silence dawned in the room as they both had a sudden epiphany- ‘For the first time, it felt normal to be flawed, when all your life you were scared to be scarred.

THE END.